Build yourself a new Status Quo

 “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't-you're right.”― Henry Ford

You wouldn't tell her she can't, so why tell yourself?

As I rushed around getting breakfast the other morning I heard a brief snippet about status quo bias on Radio 4.

Do you know what that is? It's a human tendency to stick with what you know and not make any changes that might lead to a better future.  Some think it is due to a fear that sometime in the future you might regret that decision to change. 

Yeah that's right.  It's not based on anything real or certain, but on something we don't even know.    Even though we do know that things could be better.

We all know people who just can't seem to make the changes they need 
 to make their life better. It seems so obvious to us what they should do, but inexplicably they just don't act. 

I know one of these people verrrry well.  

Myself.

I think I need to look at this a bit deeper.  Figure out what's been going on. 

Let's look at my thought processes logically.

My Status Quo Bias

 Status quo: A bit crap.  

Decision to be made: to change something or to leave things as they are.

Decision-making process:
What is certain?:  Things are crap.  Could be better.  Won't be unless there is a change.

What is uncertain?: Might possibly regret the change in the future.

Final Assessment: "Hmmm, things aren't great, changing things could totally transform my life and my family's life.  Oh, this is a lovely dream that could so be reality. I could even make things better for the wider world!
But. On the other hand I might regret it.  Yeah, y'know crap is looking like where it's at for me right now. Don't change a thing, stick to what you know hon."

Decision taken: change nothing
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My decision just does not look logical or rational at all, does it?  It doesn't even look realistic, and this is one thing I've always prided myself on being.

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So far I've only dreamed of a life that seems impossible.

One filled with art,creativity and joy.
One that is meaningful, and deeply fulfilling.

God,  even a life that isn't full of stuff I don't want to do.

My dream life might be challenging, might be a struggle.
But in a good way, know what I mean?

My dream life is being lived by others. 

But not me.

And who is stopping me living it?

Again, me. 

I come up with all kinds of reasons not to live that life. I've listed them below.  But this time, I've kicked back at myself.

The berating
Be grateful for what you've got, you'd be stupid to give it up
You'd never be able to do it anyway.
Who are you to think you can be successful at something else? 

Kickback: go away meanie, I don't believe you.

The fearful
Stick with that safe job, you might never find another one
What if this is the best it gets?
What if I regret changing things and it's too late to change my mind?
What if I fail?
What if I succeed [and hate it] [or it's too much to commit to]?

Kickback: what if it's the best thing you've ever done, or y'know, just a teeny bit better than what you have now?


The so-called "realistic"
It's too late
You're too old
You missed your chance
If it ain't broke, don't fix it
When in doubt, do nothing
You've a secure job, why rock the boat?

Kickback: How can you be "realistic" about something you have never even tried?

The excuses
I've no time
I need money
My child is too young
It's not the right time, I'll do it later
I don't live in the right place
I don't have space
Etc.

Kickback: yeah yeah, join the club girl.  And use what you have got. Now. Go on.

The negative comparisons
Other people are better
Other people have more opportunity
Other people have more time, money, no children, help with children, older children
Other people have support
Other people are better at networking/making friends

Kickback: the difference between you and those people is they thought it was possible.  Time you did too girl.

Who the hell would want to change anything looking at that list of admonishments, perceptions and dire predictions? My status quo has such a strong pull....but I have an idea....

If I can't beat this status quo bias, I'm going to join it. Sure I can kickback, but that's not enough.

I'm going to just DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. And lo and behold I'll have me a whole new status quo.

And you? How's your status quo?  Would you like to change it? If so....

BRING IT ON!

Inspired by Lori's blog and this post.